October serving as Breast Cancer Awareness Month is great and all. It’s nice seeing guys like John Cena wear pink for a change because, you know, when Damien Sandow does it, it’s just plain faggy. Right wrestling fans? Yet, if there’s one charitable cause the WWE would be smart to get behind it would be November’s Movember Month, in which money and awareness is raised for men’s health issues like prostate and testicular cancer. And what better way to further portray one’s manliness other than growing a mustache? So here at Jabronies I’ve decided to honor this charitable event by listing the Top Ten Mustaches in Wrestling (current/past). Like the long glam metal hair and mullets, mustaches, and facial hair in general, are a wrestling fashion staple. Sadly, more and more wrestlers are doing away with the long hair and sporting a clean-cut Lou Thesz look. Mustaches seem to be going that route as well (beards and goatees however seem to be going strong). But just imagine what growing a mustache would do for wrestlers who desperately need a reboot like John Cena or how it would boost certain wrestlers to that next level like Cody Rhodes? The possibilities are endless.
Seeing as Halloween is right around the corner what better way is there to celebrate this holiday than by taking a look back at one of WCW’s original pay-per-views, Halloween Havoc, and some of its shittiest moments. Granted, this list isn’t going to uncover anything you can’t find on the Wrestlecrap website, but given that this is a Lists! post, let us relive these moments in ranking order.
It’s often a good idea to have posts with tie-ins that are current and/or relevant, and seeing as October is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender (LGBT) History Month, this week’s Art of Gimmickry will focus on the effeminate wrestler. What’s that? Halloween’s also this month? Shit.
Since the Golden Age of Television, pro wrestling fans have been indoctrinated to boo anything and everything that’s remotely gay…or at the very least laugh at it. Granted, it’s rare that the wrestler is actually referred to as being gay, but the insinuation is usually there. For example, when Vince McMahon would throw around the phrase “mind games,” whenever referring to a feud involving Goldust, what he really meant was “gay shenanigans.”
For all of those still wondering, the M in CM Punk apparently stands for Metta World Peace. CM Punk has made the WWE relevant again and despite delivering one his better promos in some time, that’s not the reason why he’s making the internet rounds. It’s because of the beatdown he gave to an unsuspecting fan. Despite WWE’s best efforts to blame the whole thing on security, when you really think about it, this only furthered Punk’s recent heel turn. Which is great.
Not long ago I caught an episode of Legends of Wrestling on Youtube, titled the “Soul of Wrestling”, which was their way of saying black wrestlers. It’s funny, I get that the word “soul” has a close connection with the black community, but it kind of felt like when people use “urban” when they really want to say is black. It’s these terms that people like to use in hopes of being politically correct, but really failing miserably at it. Black president or not, race will always will be a sensitive matter… within the real world that is. However, within the confines of pro grappling little progress has been made in terms of African-American portrayal.
Enter the wrestling pimp.
The pro wrestling and comic book connection is hard to miss. The parallels are all there: good vs. evil, outlandish characters/costumes, superheroes who virtually never die, or in wrestling’s case lose (Cena, Hogan) and storylines that can change on a dime given little reason (except in comic books these tangents are justified by having multiple universes, whereas in wrestling they simply undermine the fans’ intelligence). Point is, the two mediums go hand in hand, several wrestlers even incorporate certain comic book aspects into their persona/costumes.
This list will look at the top wrestlers whose characters would fit well inside the pages of a comic book. I’m not saying they would be successful, as most pro wrestling-comic book crossovers aren’t considered to be very good (although I’ve heard great things about Headlocked), but once mentioned you’d scratch your chin and think to yourself, “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.” However, before I continue with the list, there are a few conditions that would restrict the most obvious of choices.
As much as he’s been trying to make the standing ovation send-off his thing since Wrestlemania 27, there’s nothing Triple H likes more than a good comeback, which he just happens to milk as often as possible. Granted, in the past it’s been legit, but this past summer during his feud with Brock Lesnar he was supposed to have suffered a “broken” arm. I don’t know about you, but if he was going to try and make this work he could’ve stayed off of Monday Night Raw a lot longer than a couple of months. Maybe even make an effort to show that it was still “broken” while participating in Floyd Mayweather’s entourage during a highly publicized boxing match.
Terry’s not happy with the spread at this year’s Thanksgiving Potluck.
“Ebony & ivory fit together in perfect harmony.” – Stevie Wonder & Sir Paul McCartney.
Bill & Barry try to decide where to go for lunch.